i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
