the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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