Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
