I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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