i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize