Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All the doctor said was why
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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