Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
