My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
