he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
this just has baby written all over it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
