Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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