he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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