I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
