so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
