school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
