I'm gonna have a badass scar
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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