just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
