Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
