exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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