is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize