As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize