he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
