Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry tlingiteagle9OH7 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(618): View more from Illinois

do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.

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(916): View more from California

Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?

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(301): View more from Maryland

I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking

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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.

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(206): View more from Washington

I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.

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(647): View more from Ontario

My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?

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(503): View more from Oregon

Is her dick bigger than yours?

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(303): View more from Colorado

He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.

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