I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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