yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
