I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
