I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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