Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
