As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I know her cup size but not her name....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
