I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
