my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
