oh god the rape fog is back!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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