i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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