Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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