Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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