we're blogging at a bar
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
