I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
