Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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