OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
