I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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