He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
