Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
