Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Couch. On fire.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
