I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
