You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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