I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
