coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I supernannyed him into submission
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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