so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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