my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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