belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there's paper in my vomit.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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