I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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