It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need to calm my uterus...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
