her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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