OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
