Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
