I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
